The Day Hollywood Ran Out of (good)Ideas
Okay.
When people gushed over The Departed I tried really hard to keep my mouth shut.
When it won best screenplay, I tried REALLY hard not to freak out.
What? Swear words and a stupid rat metaphor warrants good script writing? FRICK, sign me up, I can rewrite asian movies all day long.
Hollywood is still pulling punches. They won't stop coming. Off the top of my head, the following asian films have been remade.
One Missed Call (never would work without shikou)
The Eye (ummmm gave away the entire plot WITHIN THE TRAILER)
The Lake House (never mentioned it being Il Mare)
The Ring
The Grudge
Shall We Dance? (OMG I will kill whoever made this film IT WAS HORRID I WANTED TO VOMIT - NEVER BEFORE IN MY LIFE HAVE I SEEN A FILMED RAPED AND STRIPPED OF EVERYTHING LOVELY LIKE THIS BEFORE SCREW YOU JLO)
Dark Water
The Departed (A joke.)
My Sassy Girl (WHAT THAT MOVIE IS PERFECT AND IF THERE IS NO TREE IN THE REMAKE I WILL RIP OUT SOMEONE'S THROAT C'MON WHO EVEN LIKES ELISHA CUTHBERT??!!)
Akira (GOD JUST SLIT MY WRISTS ALREADY AKIRA IS A TRUE PIECE OF ART DOES NOT NEED LEO'S UGLY-NESS ON IT HELLO I MEAN FEW FILMS ARE AS STUNNING AS THE ORIGINAL AND WHAT THE HELL??? I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND MY BRAIN WILL NOT PROCESS THIS, ESPECIALLY SINCE THOSE MONEY WHORES ARE SPLITTING IT UP JESUS WHY WHY WHY)
Speed Racer (as much as i love rain i know deep down this will suck.)
Battle Angel (if james cameron ever stops making imax movies or whatever he does that sucks)
Blood+ (okay they are totally screwing this movie up from what i can see but I love koyuki soooo i guess i will just have to wait)
And then...the only one I want...Evangelion...but let's face it, it's gonna be probably another 6 years or so.
What's next? Quentin Tarantino finally goes all the way and remakes Battle Royale? OVER MY DEAD BODY.
And now, Sympathy For Lady Vengeance. Why won't it stop? Why can't I just go to a theatre and watch a foreign film? ANY foreign film? I hear they can do it other countries :(
